May 26, 2005

Map:This, Map:That, My:Map, Your:Map; Everywhere I look now its Maps(Google), Maps(Yahoo!), and Maps(MSN) - Its seems we've all gone Maps:SlapHappy

Suddenly everywhere I look I'm finding something related to maps. Simon St. Laurent just yesterday sent me these [one, two] really cool links showcasing maps of the Dryden County Precincts voting tendencies that he rendered using a combination of XSLT 1.0, Excel, Access, and MapServer; I get the impression politics is of great interest to Simon given the fact that the title/subject matter for his personal blog is:

Living in Dryden

One Democrat's perspective on life in the Town of Dryden, New York

That reminds me: Simon, if you read this remind me to tell you about whatever the subject of the reminder to tell you to ask me about during our next conversation... hows that for using the common English language for a near BlowFish Level encryption algorithm... Ok, MD5? MDP? (hah! Oh how clever am I? Damn, you don't have to be rude about it... I got very sensitive feelers you know...

...[at least thats what my ex-Girlfriend from a few years back used to tell me... [expletitive deleted out of simple fear... thats it, simple fear].... ooohhh... ummm, maybe I better stop right there before I say something I end up regretting [although I think I may already have... DAMN!] How bout' [spoken in scripted, slow-motion, monotone voice]"Boy do I miss her. She was GREAT. What a mistake I made in letting THAT one go. phew, she was something else." [think that might'uv saved me from having an alert sent out on the "Super-Secret-'He Said What???!!!'" Network that I promise you really does exist? Hmmm... probably not, huh???

You know, you'd think I'd learn... I've watched it my entire life. With five sisters how could you not know that there was at least SOMETHING going on that could better explain how on earth they could possibly find out all the dirt about ANY GUY, living ANY WHERE, on ANY PLANET, and all within seconds of it happening... it AMAZES me!!! And this after 33 years of watching this Quartz-precision network of "NO WAY!!! He Said What??? Oooohhhhh, I'm going to make him wish he was never born when I get through with him..."; and They would; and He did... Poor bastard... I wish there was something I could have done to help but that network is impossible to beat... even with a fifteen-minute headstart they still somehow would have arrived, inflicted-the-damage, and were NO-WHERE to be found by the time I even had my shoes on and was out the door. You do the math... I'm telling ya, its an unbeatable system so, guys, seriously... don't even try. You won't win. It's a simple fact. I promise you will never, ever, win.

Ok, now that I have done my duty of warning you I won't feel responsible when I get that email from you stating "M... you were right... How in the hell do they do it???!!!" Just so you know ahead of time what my response will be...

"\[8|]/"

Which is a text-stick-figure representation of me doing the "I have no idea, my friend. No idea what-so-ever..." expression with my hands flat across the palm, angled at 45 degrees, and a curl of the upper lip a bit as I add a bit of a shoulder shrug that also sort of raises my eyebrows a bit...

no-words, just "\[8|]/" which, when properly translated [without the previous cleansing] states: "Dude, I have no fucking clue... They're damn aliens or somethin' (oh crap! I've done it again... I didn't really mean aliens like from outer space, I meant A.L.I.E.N.S. like:

All
Lovely
Inspirational
Energizing
No-nonsense
Sisters
(if not obvious I've had to talk my way out of this one more than several times before now ;)

["Oh, and I did I mention how much I love you?]["Owww!! Damn You!"]
"Mom, Mark swore!"
"MARK!!!! Get in here, now!"
["Shit. Why does this always happen?"]

[My life was all about the trauma]
(BTW... for the correct dramatic touch you have to say Mark like "Mock". English accents seems to lose the "r" sound for some reason or another. At least both my parents English accents seem to.)

Anyway, back to Simon: :D

As he mentions there are two new titles from O'Reilly coming out next month related to mapping: Mapping Hacks and Web Mapping Illustrated. Cool! I definitely plan to add both of these to my collection as soon as they become available.

Of course Google, Yahoo!, etc... etc... etc... have been releasing mapping related products by the fistful. It seems obvious to me that there is a calculated assumption that this particular market is HUGE and worth every penny poured into the development of the various projects. But something tells me we're about to see Yet Another "Yeah, Thats Cool, But Not As Cool As You Might Think" from the latest entry into the world of mapping technologies and related services. Its a lengthy download but if you've got a decent connection the streaming will start within a few seconds and will be done downloading long before you get through all 30+ CAPTIVATING minutes of Robert Scoble and his trusty camera man (or is he the camera man AND the interviewer? I never can tell for sure...)

Of particular interest pay close attention to the 10 minute marker and the next few minutes after that. I won't spoil the surprise for you but rest assured Google, Yahoo, and the rest of the mapping world are about to be heading back to the labs to try and mimic even a portion of whats about to rock the online world of mapping technolgies and services... Fortunately Google seems to be attracting A LOT of talent as of late and even if they hadn't with Adam Bosworth you kind'a have to wonder if you really need anybody else...

Yeah, you do... but you have to admit that to have Adam Bosworth on your side you have to feel pretty good about your chances to compete with ANYBODY on ANY PRODUCT, PERIOD. I wonder if Google would let me borrow Adam for say, 90 days or so to help me finish up some of my current workload??? Hey, the worst they can do is say no; well, I guess if REALLY pushed, and pushed, and pushed some more they could get a restraining order but I ain't no damn groupie... Although I will admit that if I was between Tim Bray, Tim Berners-Lee, and Adam Bosworth you might find me screaming like a little girl at a New Kids on the Block, err, Backstreet Boys or whatever other Phreak-Of-A-Bad-Experiment-In-Genetic-Engineering-Gone-
Worse-Than-Was-Ever-Expected-Or-Even-Considered-Possible Boys Band that happens to be the BigThing at the present time...

Ummmm... maybe I wouldn't scream like a little girl... Can we just forget that whole last sentence, or just pretend it never happened? Please? Ok, how much? [Every damn dime I make I swear goes to paying off Yet Another Witness Of Something Stupid I Did or Said... I would say live and learn but there are very precious few extra moments in my life so I have to cut it down to one or the other... Obviously I can't learn all that much if I were dead so I choose to live instead... Kind of sad, huh?! Anyway, com'on. How much we talkin'? ;)

I swear I'm not crazy.... I just like to laugh. And write code. Sometimes the order is reversed but its usually one or the other. :)