May 13, 2005

Hmmm.... I didn't realize people would actually take my comments that seriously

I guess maybe its my tendency to think and speak without thinking if what I am saying is being construed as serious or just in fun. While speaking in person its a lot easier for others to recognize the difference, writing doesn't necessarily lend well to this ease of distinction, especially when you write like I do (pouring the words onto the screen as they are being thought, in most cases laughing about it and then forgetting that I ever wrote it in the first place.)

If my previous post was taken by any of you to be my way of presenting an actual theory my most sincere apologies. I don't by any stretch of the imagination believe that what I presented was something that should actually be considered as anything other than a way to laugh at the system we have created for ourselves. While it can sometimes be frustrating to watch I realize that the system is in place for a reason and have no intentions of promoting a campaign to up-end this system.

I think the problem really stems from my tendency to use writing as a means for getting over coders block, those times when you are trying to develop an applicaton or solve a problem and just can't seem to get things going. For me I used to just open up Photoshop and start playing until I had somehow reworked my brain into finding a way to solve the problem. With the creation of this blog I have added writing to my list of ways to get over coders block. It has always been funny to me when I have shown somebody something I have created in Photoshop and they view it as something that I actually think has value or is interesting to look at. In most cases its complete crap and I have no intention of doing anything but deleting it off my hard drive. The purpose of unblocking the block has been served and I can move on. But I have noticed that its not as easy for others who might see what I create to view it in the same light, and the same has been proven true in my writing. Most, if not all of what I write is literally just a brain dump. A way of clearing my mind and opening up the creative channels. Never in my wildest imaginaton do I envision when I am writing it that it would ever be seen as anything else... but I obviously need to rethink things as it has become painfully obvious that the things I might write about are not viewed in the same light in which I wrote them.

As frustrating as it can be for me to realize that its just not easy for others to know whats a brain dump and whats actually meant to be completely serious I obviously need to try a lot harder to make sure and not publish things that might be construed by others as something other than just a bunch of worthless thoughts running through my brain at present time. By dumping them I am able to clear way for the stuff of value to make its way through, but I realize now that I shouldn't put this stuff out there, especially when it can potentially offend people that I have no intention whatsoever of offending. Again, my apologies if you are one of these people in which was offended by what I wrote. This was not my intention even in the slightest.

I think maybe I'll just stick to code for a while.