February 17, 2005

Community Calendar for Socorro, New Mexico - or - Is Bill Gates really an Alien?

El Defensor Chieftain: Community Calendar

I ran across this in my "start of the day" perusal around all that is the XML internet. I locate XML/XSLT/XPath/XQuery/XForms and XML Web Services related news and information from various sources, this one coming in a Google alert for the keyword "XML".

Take a look at the lineup for the community classes remaining this week across the Socorro, New Mexico area:

Wed/Feb. 16

Bookmobile — Reserve Rode Inn, 9:30 a.m.-12:45 p.m.; Rancho Grande Estates (at the Adobe Café), 2:30-3:30 p.m.; Luna Mercantile, 4-5:30 p.m.

WOW Luncheon Meeting, 12:15-1:15 p.m. — Socorro Public Library, 2nd floor meeting room. Women's Opportunities for Wellness will host a discussion concerning hospice care. The meeting is free and open to the public.

Chemistry Seminar, Noon — Jones Annex 101. Manoj Kumar will speak.

Introduction to XML, 5:30 p.m. — Speare 116. "The schema and its role in file validation: introduction to Relax NG." Free.

Psychology Club Movie Night, 7 p.m. — Weir 102. Watch a classic movie starring Jimmy Stewart and a 6-foot-tall invisible white rabbit. Admission is free, membership is not required.

Thu/Feb. 17

Bookmobile — Apache Creek Mercantile, 8:30-9:45 a.m.; Aragon Post Office, 10-11 a.m.; Datil Post Office, 1-3 p.m.; Magdalena (by the Chamber of Commerce), 3:45-5 p.m.

Geoscience Seminar, 4 p.m. — MSEC 101. Chris Fielding, University of Nebraska-Lincoln, will be the guest speaker.

Physics Seminar, 4 p.m. — Workman 101. Dr. Steward McKechnie, of ITT Industries Inc., speaks on "General Theory of Imaging through Atmospheric Turbulence with Large Ground-Based Telescopes."

Introduction to XML, 4 p.m. — Speare 116. "The schema and its role in file validation: introduction to Relax NG." Free.

Programming with Python, 5:30 p.m. — Speare 116. "Sequence types: lists and tuples." Free.

Library Seminar, 7 p.m. — Skeen Library, Tripp Room. Dr. Rob Bowman and Dr. Paul Tashjian speak on "Shallow Groundwater and Surface Water Geomorphology of the rio Grande Basin."

Fri/Feb. 18

Owl Bar Run, All Day — Runners, bikers and walkers are invited to participate. A 13-mile route from Tech Gym to Owl Bar. T-shirts free to participants. For more info, call (505) 835-5131.

NRAO Colloquium, 11 a.m. — Array Operations Center. Kevin Marvel, of AAS, speaks on "Astronomy Policy 2005."

Electrical Engineering Seminar, 2 p.m. — Workman 101. Dr. Tom Bilodeau, of State University of New York at Canton, speaks on "Electrostatic discharge sensitivity anlyses for GaAs microwave power amplifiers."

Hydrology Seminar, 3:30 p.m. — MSEC 101. Bill Woessner (Birdsall-Dreiss Lecturer) speaks on "Examining the Exchange of Groundwater with the Stream/Floodplain System: Physical, Thermal and Geochemical Approaches with Ties to Stream Renaturalization."

Mathematics Seminar, 4 p.m. — Weir 209. Dr. Kimberly Burch speaks on "Modeling Physical Properties of Alkanes."

Fri-Sun/Feb. 18-20

Marriage Enrichment Weekend — For more information, cal Joe & Millie Lopez, (505) 835-0264; or Arthur & Flora Olguin, (505) 835-4345.

Sat/Feb. 19

Rugby Match, 1 p.m. — Tech Athletic Field. Tech Pygmies vs. El Paso Scorpions.

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Anybody want to bet that the next Bill Gates or Linus Torvalds comes from Socorro? I find it even more interesting to note that Microsoft actually opened it doors in the State of New Mexico before moving its headquarters back to the home town of Bill Gates and Paul Allen. Wait a second, I just suddenly realized... Roswell, New Mexico, Area 51, Microsoft, and now Socorro. It all makes sense now!!! ;) ;D

You know, I think theres a hidden message in this lineup of classes... Lets see, from yesterday we've got "Introduction to XML" which covers schema validation with RelaxNG and the "Psychology Club Movie Night" (I'm guessing that the movie night is code for some sort of secret Alien meeting or something... ;) Today we've got the "Geoscience Seminar", the "Physics Seminar", and the "Introduction to XML" presentation again (apparently it must be a popular class amongst the Aliens. Obviously they understand RelaxNG's superior nature! Wait, does that tie James Clark into this somehow? It would makes sense, now wouldn't it! Super-Intelligence = Super-Human = Alien? It's always a possibility! Wait... That must mean Michael Kay's in on this too!!! I knew it!) I'm noticing they all start at 4pm which to us it would be impossible to attend all 3 but to an Alien race who live in Space-Time the 4pm would be more representative of an address than an actual moment that will pass and never return again. And if I needed another sign to crack open my "Python in a Nutshell" title I purchased a few months ago when I posted the question "Am I the last person in the world who doesn't use Python?" well I think I may have just found it. Notice the title - "Sequence types: lists and tuples." I'm guessing now that you're probably not thinking I'm some sort of psycho-hacker-phreak from my "All the blogs a list item" post from last week. I may still be a psycho-hacker-phreak but maybe not for the reasons you thought I was a psycho-hacker-phreak. ;) :D

Tomorrows line-up is even better... I've always had an interest in Hydrology so as luck would have it theres a Hydrology seminar that starts at 3:30p.m. followed by a Mathematics Seminar at 4. I could start my day out right with the 13 mile Owl Bar Run but if that lasts all day how can I grab the Hydrol.... wait, I forgot, Space-Time Continuum... See how that works?! Pretty slick if you ask me :)

Diving deeper into my theory at 11a.m. (again, address, not time... must try and keep this straight :) we've got the NRAO Colloquium where at the Array Operations Center we've got "Astronomy Policy 2005" being presented by Kevin Marvel. Kevin Marvel? Come on... if you're going to try and come up with a fake name to cover your Alien identity at least choose something that didn't obviously stem from your childhood fantasy of being a Super-Hero! And to top it off you don't even hide the fact that you're presentation has to do with this years Astronomy Policy. Astronomy Policy?! Who needs a policy for the stars except for a race of Aliens zinging back and forth from New Mexico to the Mother Ship, wherever that may be (I'm guessing Sirius, the Dog Star, as a likely candidate... Damn! Is Tom Robbins and Alien too? I must say that anybody with that much talent is definitely suspect!)

If you need any more evidence look at the titles of the event lineup for Friday... "Electrostatic discharge sensitivity anlyses for GaAs microwave power amplifiers.", "Examining the Exchange of Groundwater with the Stream/Floodplain System: Physical, Thermal and Geochemical Approaches with Ties to Stream Renaturalization." (apparently the Aliens must figure that if they are going to gain brownie points with the natives they'd best put on a nice "Environmentalist" face), "Modeling Physical Properties of Alkanes."... These are the kinds of titles you find at the University of Washington's lecture board not on a Community Calendar!!! And look at the news clip title in the right column "Neighbors complain racetrack too noisy". Racetrack? Come on now... Try "Launch Pad"! And what about "Water is home for many creatures, students learn". Yeah, and so is Socorro!

It is nice to see that the Aliens in Socorro have good family values as they have devoted an entire weekend to Marriage Enrichment. I do find it strange that in the middle of Marriage Enrichment weekend they've got a Rugby match planned. But then again that just lends well to my idea that the Australians are Aliens too (I've got 23 cousins living in Australia -- I've known something was up for quite some time now ;) Notice the team names -- Tech Pygmies vs. El Paso Scorpions. Tech Pygmies? I'm going to leave that one alone cuz' that just scares me.

While I have no doubt now that Soccoro, New Mexico is a city full of Aliens I do wonder why the title "El Defensor Chieftain" for the local newspaper. What are they defending themselves against and whos their Chief? Wait... Is that where Bill Gates comes back into the picture... It all makes *SO_MUCH_SENSE*!

I think I'd best crack open my Python book now... :)

NOTE: For effect, I've added an "old-time" look-and-feel to the picture hoping that this might lure the Aliens into believing that I've been down with Python for "ages!" The need for this of course is based on the belief that at some point in the future the Aliens might decide to eat all of the natives who don't buy into their way of thinking. "I'm buying baby! I've been buying your ways for years -- see, heres evidence -->" and show them the picture above (I'll have to carry a copy in my pocket everywhere I go, just to be safe.) Thats what I'll be saying when I'm being hunted by one of the Aliens and they have me cornered and there's no where else to run. Might I suggest you do the same (lets just hope they don't read my blog! :)

Enjoy your day!